Random Ramblings

I have sooo much on my mind lately I have no clue where to start. October is sneaking up on my already & to me that means a lot of things - my dear dad's b-day, Halloween (practically my favorite holiday - too bad I can't trick-or-treat anymore), Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month, fall (who knows - a miracle cold happen & it might cool down here a bit), & Christmas planning.

My dad - well - he's just awesome! Poor guy is overrun by women & still manages to stay sane. He is really one of my heros! He is sooo kind & generous. He is really funny and is a GREAT listener & advice giver. Supportive. Loving. Strong in his faith. And not afraid to cry. Dad - if you're reading this - you are the best! I couldn't ask for a better dad, ever!

Halloween is just soo cool in my book. I seem to have a little of a darker side. Honestly though - while I love dressing up and a good scare (great excuse to cuddle with hubby) - my favorite thing is trick-or-treating. I now have to settle for kicks by taking my wee ones out to gather up loot or greet all the trick-or-treaters. I hate having to buy my own bag of candy!

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month is something I never had even heard of until 2003. Suddenly, after burying my first child - I had to make people notice that this is all still too common to take sitting down. I have a shirt, I have written a article for the newspaper, I have helped create a group online for those who need it, & I still will never do enough for this cause. I didn't realize until I lost my son you see, how this is still such a common happening in our society - even with all the medical advances we have. Sure - not each loss is preventable but some are. The grief however is oh so real. Some people can seem to get over it in a matter of days. I, personally, and still trying to find closure, peace, healing, solace. I think this is all too often pushed under a rug or hushed or dismissed for one reason or another. I really have a hard time with that. I could go on & on, but I'll leave it at that for now.

Fall is a welcome relief here in TX. I am thinking soon I will take my little boy outside and rake up the leaves just to jump in them. Fall used to be soo drab in my book & now I see it as another beauty in the change of seasons. It's almost like nature's way of shedding her skin in preparation for the renewal process soon to come in the spring.

Christmas planning always starts early for me because otherwise nothing happens. I am already deciding what to give for some Christmas presents, making a mental note of the baking I want to do, deciding what the family ornament wil be this year, and hating the fact it is sooo commercialized.

If you've read this far I thank you. More to come...